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You have seen it done often in the movies and probably on the
street in darkened corners. The French kiss is a timeless and
passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in
Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the
French do without an embarrassing
faux
pas!
Steps
- Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well
together. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips will be
sufficient to moisten them.
- Angle your head. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses
will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or
smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make
sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side.
- Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into
your partner's eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your
eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going
cross-eyed .
-
Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do
not lunge in with your lips agape like you're going to eat them;
instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to
speak French, you would probably start with the
basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry.
Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you
can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even
after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it
is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
- Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a
shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss
someone, but when your lips are locked with their's you may not
want to stop and ask, "Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue
in your mouth?" Open your lips slowly and just a little during the
kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one
of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips,
brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly.
This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your
partner's tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull
away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when
you are both ready.
- Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem
to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a
little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into
their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of
touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant
and stimulating for each of you. Do not stick your tongue too far
into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently
and playfully touch tongues.
- Go Slow. Passionate kisses are good sometimes, but to
really enjoy a French kiss, you must take it slow. Do not hurry and
take time to explore each other's mouths.
- Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly
the same. Once you finally feel comfortable French kissing someone,
it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety.
Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more
attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or
shorter and explore the art of kissing. When something feels good
for each of you, do not abandon it for the sake of variety.
- Read Body Language. Everybody kisses a
little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a
kiss - there is no "right" way to kiss. What separates good kissers
from bad is an ability to read a partner's body language and be
responsive to their partner. Of course if your partner pulls away
or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to
slow it down. Listen for cues that tell how much your partner is
enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan,
or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize
that they are responding with fervor.
-
Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing
of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it
more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the
more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style
that suits both of you.
Tips
- Breathe! Forgetting to
breathe is probably the most common French kissing error. Do not
hold your breath--everybody needs to breathe, and it is a lot more
awkward when you have to pull away gasping for air than if you're
breathing normally. Breathe through your nose, and try to keep a
normal rhythm. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the
kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing
breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
- Freshen your breath. You never want to
have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the
kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a
French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice
good dental hygiene. Carry mints with you if you think there is
even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that
leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic,
onions, milk, and corn.
- Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to
bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt as
well. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it
does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth
of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish
feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having
someones tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to
touch teeth with their tongue.
- Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your
former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new
love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a
style that's comfortable for each each of you. This works in
reverse, too. Just because someone doesn't kiss you like you are
used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are not
uncomfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just
might like the new style.
- Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you
want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss.
Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the
movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with
any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close
your lips. This will give your your partner the hint.
- There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you
feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just
enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually
together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's
upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves
returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
-
Use your hands. Your hands are important to kissing, and you should
use them to make the kiss more romantic. Gently hold your partner's
face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your
arms around your partner in an embrace. The most important thing
about using your hands is that you respect your partner's
boundaries. Play with their ears or run your fingers through their
hair, as this is very stimulating. The second most important thing
(much less important than the first) is that your hands should do
something. Don't just let them hang at your sides; it will
seem like you're not into the kiss, and you'll look like an
ape.
- Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about
intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a
relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you,
let them know. If you don't like something, also let your partner
know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the
same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss
goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both
laugh about it together!
Warnings
- To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and
lips soft and supple...think of the pressure used to lick a soft
servie ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the
other enjoys it. Use variations too to mix it up. Now go
practice!
- You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you
should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other.
Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you could cut your
tongue).
- Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that
can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically
without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not
be afraid to pull away for a moment.
- If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward
with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your
partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It's OK to say no.
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